Blah, Blah, Blah

 I've been not feeling well for the last few days. I've had a high fever a few times, been exhausted, and think I have some sinus stuff going on. It's really just wearing me out, to the point I can barely move. So what I'm saying in my whining, roundabout way is that I've not gotten any work done. No cleaning, no sewing, or much asides from the absolutely necessary.

  I did get mail today though. Which while it made me very happy also reminded me why I need to stay away from ebay, and pretty much any place that sells fabric lol.

I blame this on Christmas though. You see, around Christmas people want you to think about what you would like and so on and so forth. Well I spend most of the year not thinking about this because then I don't feel bad about not being able to have it. But then I did and now I've found somethings I want...you know how this goes. Especially since DH is endlessly complaining about not having. Which drives me batty. Be grateful for what we do have. And work for the rest. OK issue coming up obviously lol.

  I have a little confession...you see I have (had?) a bit of a spending/shopping addiction (really more of a compulsion but since when is pop culture concerned with anything but what sounds good?). This was quite problematic for a while a few years ago, especially in the year after my son's death. But I worked on it and have had tight control on my spending in the last few years. So this, to me, is a warning sign that I need to stop buying. And I will. I need to remember all the other things that can fill this void I get better, and cheaper, then buying things. It gives a temporary high, or feeling of satisfaction, but no real relief from the anxieties that are plaguing me. And I end up with crap I neither need, nor particularly like.
So I commit to only buy things I need for a project I am imminently going to be working on.
At least until I have a) space b) money to "waste" and c) a greater sense of general contentedness.
To continue that theme I'm think of using "Make Life" by sweetwater for February's Schnibble, Sunday Best, which I did order today. Make life what you want it, make it better for someone else, make it special (whatever that means to you).

And now to crawl under the covers again until it's time to make lunches and breakfasts in the morning. Hopefully Little Bit won't decide in the morning that I have to drive her to school again. I wouldn't mind too much except I feel so crummy.