A Hard Weekend

This has been a hard weekend for me. Friday was my son's 4th birthday, which we celebrated by cleaning his headstone, and leaving a foil balloon and flowers at his grave. You see my son died at 5 days old from a horrific genetic disease.
This is always a hard day but this year I have the knowledge that I will be having a hysterectomy in September. There will be no more children for me.
At least not biological, and by the time we can afford to adopt, well I don't know what will happen then. I've more or less given up on trying to figure out what will happen in the distant future. Every time in my life where I make plans I've had to deal with some serious disappointments. So I try to live in the now as much as possible.

Yesterday, we had Little Bit's last soccer game of the year.

She played really well, paid attention and was really trying to get in there. She has to be told which way to kick the ball, which the coach forgot to do before the game. Once she had that figured out she was great. All the kids got this little trophy, which means the world to Little Bit. She still has hers from last year, and it's definitely one of her prized possessions.

Yesterday afternoon, in a all day deluge of rain, we had the annual pool party for my mom's side of the family at my brother's (formally my mother's) place.
It was nice to see many of my cousins, and all the little girls. We had 9 girls under the age of 6, and one 10 year old. The 10 year old was wonderful taking care of the little ones.
All of 3 of my siblings were there, which sounds great except we don't really get on all that well.
I have to admit to being cowardly and going out to gazebo were the guys were. I spent most of the afternoon very pleasantly, and managed to keep them from killing themselves trying to fry the turkey.

So maybe it wasn't such a bad weekend...hard but not bad.