Thursday, February 4, 2010

Blah, Blah, Blah

 I've been not feeling well for the last few days. I've had a high fever a few times, been exhausted, and think I have some sinus stuff going on. It's really just wearing me out, to the point I can barely move. So what I'm saying in my whining, roundabout way is that I've not gotten any work done. No cleaning, no sewing, or much asides from the absolutely necessary.

  I did get mail today though. Which while it made me very happy also reminded me why I need to stay away from ebay, and pretty much any place that sells fabric lol.

I blame this on Christmas though. You see, around Christmas people want you to think about what you would like and so on and so forth. Well I spend most of the year not thinking about this because then I don't feel bad about not being able to have it. But then I did and now I've found somethings I know how this goes. Especially since DH is endlessly complaining about not having. Which drives me batty. Be grateful for what we do have. And work for the rest. OK issue coming up obviously lol.

  I have a little see I have (had?) a bit of a spending/shopping addiction (really more of a compulsion but since when is pop culture concerned with anything but what sounds good?). This was quite problematic for a while a few years ago, especially in the year after my son's death. But I worked on it and have had tight control on my spending in the last few years. So this, to me, is a warning sign that I need to stop buying. And I will. I need to remember all the other things that can fill this void I get better, and cheaper, then buying things. It gives a temporary high, or feeling of satisfaction, but no real relief from the anxieties that are plaguing me. And I end up with crap I neither need, nor particularly like.
So I commit to only buy things I need for a project I am imminently going to be working on.
At least until I have a) space b) money to "waste" and c) a greater sense of general contentedness.
To continue that theme I'm think of using "Make Life" by sweetwater for February's Schnibble, Sunday Best, which I did order today. Make life what you want it, make it better for someone else, make it special (whatever that means to you).

And now to crawl under the covers again until it's time to make lunches and breakfasts in the morning. Hopefully Little Bit won't decide in the morning that I have to drive her to school again. I wouldn't mind too much except I feel so crummy.


Darlene said...

Oh, Cara, I hope you feel better soon - fever and such is not a good thing. Enjoy your new charm packs.

LJ said...

Big hugs (((((((((Cara)))))). I do hope you feel better soon. I know all too well what it feels like to be ailing.
Sending you an email!

Red Geranium Cottage said...

I hope you feel better Cara. Hang in there and enjoy your new fabric. It's good that you are going to control your shopping. It can become addicting. We all get carried away with it at times. It's sooo easy to do.

hetty said...

Hope you are feeling better! My daughter is picking me up today so we can go shopping. I think she is encouraging me!

Anonymous said...

Dear Cara,
Thank you for comment on my Jake's prayer needs, when you need prayer yourself!!! I am sorry that you lost your precious dog a while back. They do become our "friends" and when I look into those eyes I don't always see a dog, but a friend and a being that just can't talk with words.

You can blah, blah, blah all you want. It makes us feel better. In my marriage and situation, I can't buy anything either. Luckily I don't have the buying bug, but I have in the past. Now my husband has been out of work for over a year, and had to go back to school at 56.9 yrs. to get reeducated to get a job. His field was the auto industry and it isn't viable anymore. Anyways, I have learned to look around, and try to use up what I have, and to make due with what is given to me or stored away for my future entertainment. I did get two new books recently because I started a book club for Jane Austen. I had my best friend Ruth for my example in life. She died in 1999 at the age of 95. Ruth was my dearest and best friend for over 25 years. I have not gotten over her death. She taught me so much about living with what you have. She lived in the same house since 1929, which probably had about 700 sq feet. She reread books, and drew pictures, and crocheted, and she had some pretty statues and tea cups on her mantel and dining cupboard. Her joy was to dust them because she said she 'played' with her pretties.
Hope you feel better soon! Cathy

Rene' said...

Cara, sorry to hear you are under the weather. Curl up under a quilt and feel better. I like the charm pack you picked for your Schnibbles.